April 2009

Season's over and not a minute too soon. To tick the final box in the disciplinary disaster that has been this campaign, we have been deducted three points for fielding an ineligible player. That player is believed to be Lee Canoville and it seems to have to been a genuine mistake. It makes no difference to anything at all so frankly I don't really care.

Corby have won the league. Farnborough will be at home to Hemel Hempstead and Gloucester will host Cambridge in the play-offs. Mangotsfield, Yate, Hitchin and Banbury have been relegated.

It's all in stark contrast to last year when we were good.

Added Wednesday 22nd April

Both of last season's promoted clubs have found out the Conference is no promised land. Team Bath will seemingly fold at the end of the season (I know, I know, it's so sad) and apparently King's Lynn will be demoted after having failed to carry out ground improvements by an agreed deadline. They are appealing but the Conference aren't known for backing down in situations like this. I have no special regard for our six figured cousins but the decision seems mad to me. How exactly can they make £250,000 worth of improvements (reportedly to the floodlights, dressing rooms and medical area) in the middle of the football season? Why not give them the summer? It's meant to be the holy grail of non-League football but the Conference is becoming a farce. Tin pot teams survive year after year because of draconian decisions from the Conference board. King's Lynn are one the bigger clubs in Conference North and yet they don't seem to want them there. The club have to shoulder some of the blame because they don't appear particularly well run but common sense seems sadly lacking from the Conference as well.

Added Tuesday 21st April

Big game tonight in deciding the champions and the team who will take the last play-off place. Farnborough only drew 1-1 at Merthyr which means they have to beat the prudes of Stourbridge and hope Corby slip up at home to Banbury. That's unlikely so it seems that our Scottish friends will be in Conference North next season. Much as it pains me to say it, I think they deserve it. Following the draw Merthyr now can't make the play-offs meaning only Oxford can pip Hemel Hempstead. They're playing tonight as well but it's only half-time in their game at the moment.

Added Monday 20th April

I didn't realise they were such prudes in Stourbridge. Apparently 'disgusted of Amblecote' (the bloke in question actually lives in Halesowen but we'll overlook that) also wrote to the Non League Paper to express his outrage at Nick Bussey's indiscretion. Good God, man. Try getting out a bit more.

Added Sunday 19th April

Flicking idly through the Halesowen News this morning I saw a letter from, I assume, a Stourbridge fan trying desperately to elevate Nick Bussey's alleged flash on Monday to some kind of Yorkshire Ripper-like status. No, he shouldn't have done it and, if you must, argue he should be fined by the club (they need the money) but don't try and get the bloke arrested. He didn't jump out on a single woman in the park, he wasn't hiding down a dark alley, so anybody who was offended probably needs to lighten up a bit.

Added Saturday 18th April

Southern League Premier Division

Yeltz 3 Clevedon Town 5

That, as they say, is that. Two up in five minutes and still they lose. At least we can forget about any lingering thoughts of the play-offs now. My exhaustive analysis of the play-off contenders on Wednesday ignored Oxford City who still stand a good chance following Hemel Hempstead's drubbing at Evesham. But then again, why do I care?

Incidentally, and this is not a whinge, how can a goalkeeper be penalised for handling the ball outside of his area and not even be booked?

Next weekend's fixture fulfillment aside, it's season over which, all things considered, is no bad thing.

Added Wednesday 15th April

Just to clarify the Yeltz's almost hopeless quest for the play-offs: if we win both of our remaining fixtures and Hemel Hempstead fail to get more than a point then we will finish fifth. Merthyr could still do it (although they almost certainly are in too much of a financial mess to go up) if they win their final three games (as one is against us that would rule us out) and Hemel don't get more than three points themselves. All of that is a long winded way of saying it will probably be Hemel that make it.

Added Monday 13th April

Southern League Premier Division

Stourbridge 2 Yeltz 2

Halesowen's play-off hopes were virtually ended on a dust bowl pitch in Amblecote after a referee led fightback by Stourbridge. Two penalties from Graham Deakin seemed to have sealed the game but the hapless official did his best to even things up by giving the second soft penalty against us in three days. That livened Stourbridge up and an equaliser duly arrived. Nick Bussey rounded off the fun and games by allegedly flashing at the locals. Perhaps he was commenting on the standard of officiating this season.

Added Sunday 12th April

Southern League Premier Division

Yeltz 2 Hemel Hempstead Town 1

Best day at the football for ages. The sun was shining, the team was winning, beer had been consumed and all was well with the world. Even another ridiculous excuse for a referee couldn't spoil the day as the Yeltz were deserving winners against a Hemel Hempstead team who could yet fall out of the play off places. Whether we will be the team to replace them is another matter and will depend largely on which team turns up tomorrow at Stourbridge. If it is yesterday's version then it's possible. If it's the version of the last few weeks there's no chance.

Added Saturday 11th April

Apparently Chippenham have been fined and deducted 3 points for fielding an ineligible player in a recent match. Fair enough you may think. Well yes, but apparently Hitchin did the same thing in a game against Gloucester and received no penalty at all. There may have been mitigating circumstances but, on the face of it, it appears inconsistent. Ken Turner, eh?

Added Friday 10th April

Bright Golden Haze is a year old next week and Team Bath have given us an early birthday present:

http://www.nonleaguedaily.com/news/index.php?newsmode=FULL&nid=56978

I think the truth of the matter is more like their budgets have been slashed by the University but who cares. Why they were ever allowed to come this far is a mystery and it's a shame it didn't happen last year, but at least a level playing field has been restored in the Conference South. And to the couple of mourning TB fans who are crying into their cornflakes: never mind, at least you gave the world Sean Canham. Oh, and good riddance.

Added Thursday 9th April

I'm a terrible gossip peddler. Earlier today I hinted at some conspiracy theory type shennanigans with Darren Caskey. The official line from the club though is that his absence is due to his knee and he is still very much part of Halesowen Town. Good. I won't have to replace my only joke then.

Added Thursday 9th April

Not that it's any concern of ours but it's very tight at the top after Corby beat Farnborough 3-1 last night. Farnborough are a point clear with a game in hand but it looks like it's going to the wire.

Meanwhile, back at the 'crisis club', general manager Colin Brookes has announced his retirement from the end of the season. Universally popular and thoroughly committed to the Yeltz cause, it is not difficult to surmise his leaving is, at least in part, influenced by all the recent nonsense that has affected the club. That may not be the case of course - he might have retired had we been top of the League with money in the bank - but I doubt it. The consequence though is that Halesowen has lost a great servant who did everything in his power for the good the club. Whatever his reasons for going, he deserves to leave with all the praise that has been directed towards him recently ringing in his ears.

Finally, where is Darren Caskey? He appears AWOL for reasons unknown (but can obviously be guessed at with a fairly high certainty of success). If he doesn't return I'm going to have think of a new joke for the fanzine.

Added Tuesday 7th April

Southern League Premier Division

Tiverton Town 3 Yeltz 0

Well, it's better than 5 I suppose but that's the fifteenth defeat of an increasingly pathetic League season.

The lowest crowd we have ever had for a home Southern League game is 196 against Rugby in 2006. There is an outside chance that record could go on Saturday against Hemel Hempstead. It'll also be interesting to see how long it is before there is outright hostility towards Morell Maison who has proved that hot air will only get you so far (not that he's been saying much lately).

Added Sunday 5th April

Southern League Premier Division

Yeltz 0 Corby Town 5

I can't wait for this season to end. Corby are a very good team and deserve to go up but our lot are a shambles. I've said this about other games this season but without Nick Bussey it would have been double figures. I wish it had have been - it might have forced Maison's hand then. We've got a negative goal difference as well now.

The big result from elsewhere was Cambridge's win. They've opened up a gap in fifth now, not that it matters.

Added Friday 3rd April

Looks like it's game on. We've been reduced to being absurdly happy that the club can fulfill their fixtures. Brilliant. Mind you, there are people at the club who have worked very hard to reach this situation so to them we should be grateful.

Added Friday 3rd April

5.25pm and we still don't know if the game is on. The latest statement, from late last night, is hopeful but nothing definitive has been heard today:

Further Statement from The Chief Executive of Halesowen Town FC, 02/04/09

We have again spent the day in lengthy negotiations with the FA and Southern League concerning the current status of the suspension.

We have mutually agreed to not proceed with any High Court action against the FA at this time.

We have managed to reach an agreement with the FA as to exactly what we have to achieve and the timeframe that it must be completed by for the Suspension to be lifted.

We have this evening raised the necessary funds to be able to clear the debts with some of the parties and remain very confident that we will be able to complete the final parts of what we need to achieve in time for the match against Corby on Saturday to go ahead and for us to face no further sanction in regard to this matter.

I trust you will all appreciate the effort that is being expended at this time to ensure that the match does in fact go ahead.

There will be no further comment at this time.

Guy Simpson
Chief Executive

Apparently there could be no decision until Corby's coach is due to leave tomorrow which, like just about everything else in this whole farcical situation, is ridiculous. It's bad enough sitting here in Halesowen not knowing if there's a game but Corby's fans still don't know if they're escaping from their horrible town for the afternoon or not. If it was anyone else I'd feel sorry for them. So, still we wait...

Added Thursday 2nd April

Another statement from the club:

Statement from The Chief Executive of Halesowen Town FC, 02/02/09

After a long day of negotiation with the FA & Central Conference League we gained permission to play the away game last night at Burton.

We feel this was a well won concession and our advisers feel it's a positive sign concerning our other ongoing negotiations concerning Saturdays Game and the future fixtures this season.

We subsequently, yesterday afternoon, received the formal advice that the proposed sanction will now come into effect at 0.01 am Thursday 2nd April. Please note this was after we had managed to ensure that last night's fixture went ahead.

Negotiations to solve the situation are ongoing and we remain confident that we can still secure Saturdays fixture against Corby.

We have obtained further legal advice and will make a decision if we will proceed with a High Court Injunction against the FA in relationship to this sanction, which our advisers feel is unlawful.

I will update you further as to our progress.

I thank you for your patience and understanding in regard to this matter and wish to reassure everyone of the Club's continued efforts to right this injustice.

There will be no further comment at this time

Guy Simpson
CEO
Halesowen Town Football Club.

Let's hope the club pay for all this legal advice they are getting. Law firms are probably faster than ex-Halesowen Town players at using the appropriate avenues to recover owed monies.

The first statement from the club has also been amended, firstly by naming the players and also by adding this:

espite vigorous attempts to reach a mutually acceptable paymeplan, "the players were unwilling to work with the club and have decided to force the issue. This has put both ourselves and the FA in a very difficult situation."

I can understand why the club may want to name the players (Mark Danks, Michael Briscoe and Dean Smith, if you were wondering) but why the criticism? How long should they wait for money that is not forthcoming? I'm afraid there's one man who has to shoulder the responsibility and he's not an one of the three players concerned.

Added Thursday 2nd April

Statement from The Chief Executive of Halesowen Town FC

The club would like to advise all fans and supporters of the following situation that has arisen. As a result of charges previously brought against the club by a small group of former players concerning disputed wage payments in relation to their previous employment with the club, the FA have regrettably been forced to reach the decision that it will be suspending the club from playing any further fixtures forthwith until such time as the matter is resolved.

At this time we have not yet actually been suspended but I expect to receive the formal advice in the near future.

Despite vigorous attempts to reach a mutually acceptable payment plan, the players were unwilling to work with the club and have decided to force the issue. This has put both ourselves and the FA in a very difficult situation.

In defense of the position we have naturally lodged the necessary appeals against this draconian sanction. This appeal has been rejected and I expect the formal sanction advice to follow.

In order to resolve this the club must now pay these players in full in order to prevent this sanction being enforced so that the upcoming game against Corby can continue as planned.

I am uncertain as to why the FA or the players should wish to further pressure the club in such a manor (sic).

We are working hard to resolve this situation quickly and will keep everyone posted as to any developments.

There will be no further comment at this time

Regards

Guy Simpson
Chief Executive

That was the message posted on the official site yesterday (no April Fool, believe me). As of 09.20 this morning there is no official news on whether the suspension is yet in effect although it is being reported in other places as if it has.

Apparently three ex-players (their names are out there but I'm not putting them on here) are owed in the region of £7,000 and, not unreasonably, they want their money. Now, whilst I am not aware of this kind of punishment being handed down before, and it does some quite draconian, it's not as if we haven't been in this situation before.

The upshot therefore is that once the ban takes effect, there will be no more football until the players are paid.

All I'll say for now is that Guy Simpson must have the hardest job in Halesowen. He's constantly trying to sort out problems that weren't of his making and, each time it seems he's making a little headway, something bigger comes and slaps him round the face.

One other thing I'll say is that the FA must be thinking of appointing a Halesowen Town disciplinary caseworker what with this and Morell Maison's 18 month ban from footballing activities for his misdemeanour at Chippenham (currently under appeal). I haven't mentioned that have I? I don't think he's in the running for Manager of the Year...