July 2008

Apologies for the lack of updates recently but, as mentioned above, I have been pre-occupied with updating the new site. As well as that I am trying to finalise the fanzine so things are hectic at the moment.

Since the last update we have played a few friendlies and I am happy to say things look like they are coming together. Maybe still a bit wobbly defensively but that will improve as the players develop more understanding of one another.

Eldon has gone to Cyprus as we thought he had at the start of May. He will be missed...

Bright Golden Haze is now the proud sponsor of Jay Denny! The next few days will doubtlessly spent compulsively checking to see if the nice girls at the club office have updated the main site yet.

Added Wednesday 23 July

Bromsgrove Rovers 2 Halesowen Town 4

Another goal packed pre-season friendly last night as the Yeltz, courtesy of a Dean Brennan hat-trick and a strike from Aaron Cornwall, saw off Bromsgrove Rovers - the town old Yeltz players go to die.

I didn't go so I don't know but apparently we are still looking dodgy at the back.

Guess what - still no Eldon Maquemba.

Added Tuesday 22 July

Conspiracy theory alert! Both ourselves and Chippenham are amongst the four teams who have to play in the Preliminary Round of the Southern League Cup (or GX Soccer Cup as we must call it now) on September 23. Could it be because both clubs were vociferous in their criticism of the Southern League after the play-off farce? Is Ken exacting his revenge? Where was Ken on 22 November 1963? My money's on a grassy knoll in Dallas.

We're playing Sutton Coldfield Town away by the way (with the 'reward' of playing Stourbridge at home if we win).

Added Monday 21 July

Halesowen Town 7 USA Trident FC 0

Moving though I may have been I managed to make it to the Grove on Saturday to see a bunch of fairly hopeless Americans hammered by the Yeltz. It transpires that USA Trident is basically a vehicle where the players pay a not insignificant amount of money to put themselves in the English shop window. It's probably fair to assume that most of them will not be signing for any English teams any time soon. Nathan Vaughan kept a clean sheet though (mind you I would have done as well) and Mark Danks scored a hat-trick so it was probably just about worthwhile.

Still no Eldon though. I don't think he's coming back...

Added Thursday 17 July

Every now and again the dark reality of life enters the Halesowen Town obsession and dims even the brightest golden haze. I am moving house tomorrow but Providence (and Virgin Media) allowing I will back up and running on Monday evening.

Added Thursday 17 July

Sean Ridgway, who signed on July 4th, was apparently playing for St Albans in a trial match against Spurs last night. Make of that what you will.

Added Wednesday 16 July

It was announced tonight that on Saturday we are playing a team called Trident USA at the Grove. I thought perhaps we were playing a bunch of nuclear physicists on a 'vacation' but I have found this:

http://www.usatridentfc.com/index.html

I'm none the wiser as to who they are but it doesn't look like a works team.

Added Wednesday 16 July

Halesowen Town 3 Stafford Rangers 4

Fully aware as I am of the folly of making rash predictions based on 90 minutes of football I would hazard a guess at there being loads of goals in Yeltz games this season. Unfortunately the opposition will get their fair share if we defend like we did tonight when a pretty poor looking Stafford side (who sensibly seemed to ignore a lot of Steve Bull's ranting and raving on the touchline) threatened to score every time they crossed the ball. Nathan Vaughan seems keen to come for crosses but doesn't seem to bother working out if he has any chance of getting the ball or not and sometimes, as with their fourth goal, this means he flattens one or more of the defence whilst the ball arcs gently into the net.

Still, all our goals were good. Dean Brennan rounded off a lovely passing move whilst Mark Danks scored two, the second of which was an absolute screamer. Still no Eldon though...

As an aside - if I were a member of a prominent left wing think-tank I would probably describe Stafford Rangers' Nick Wellecome's pink football boots as a mark of spirited individuality and defend his right to express himself in any way he sees fit. Fortunately I am not so I will just say that they are the gayest thing I have ever seen on a football pitch.

Added Tuesday 15 July

Worrying news regarding Eldon Maquemba. The Halesowen Town supporters' surveillance branch has picked up signals that Eldon is still in Portugal considering his future. Undercover sources suggest that perhaps the club are unable to offer him what he feels himself to be worth. One thing for certain though is that pre-season is continuing without him and the longer he is away then the more difficult it is going to be for him to come back. We can only hope that he is flying home as we speak and that he will take the field against Stafford Rangers tomorrow night.

Added Tuesday 15 July

The fixtures are out and are available on the Fixtures and Results page. Loath as I am to say it but the Southern League haven't done a bad job this year as far as the Yeltz are concerned. It's always nice to start at home and we are doing so this year against Tiverton on August 16th. There are only three midweek away games (Rugby, Banbury and Brackley) and they're all shortish journeys. So far as Stourbridge are concerned - it's New Year's Day at the Grove and Easter Monday over there which is all very sensible and nice. Ken - I salute you (the two fingered variety naturally - you're still useless).

Added Monday 14 July

The un-named right back from a top three Conference side mentioned on July 4 turns out to be Dean Smith from Aldershot. He played against Cradley on Saturday and looks like a good signing although he wasn't overly tested on the day. The 22 year old played 40 times for Aldershot in 2006/07 but suffered with injuries last season and was released by the club. It can only be good for the Yeltz to have a young player with higher League experience who is reportedly keen to get back up through the levels. Slightly more info here.

Added Monday 14 July

The fixtures are out tomorrow - provided Ken and his merry band of incompetents remember of course.

Added Saturday 12 July

Cradley Town 0 Halesowen Town 1

At last - a game of football! The Yeltz won their first pre-season game 1-0 at Cradley Town today courtesy of a Dean Brennan penalty. It felt more like mid-season than pre-season at half time though with the wind whipping around the 'Alfabet' stand in a most un-July like manner.

Our definite new signings looked good although Jack Allward only lasted a few minutes before injuring himself. Mark Danks looks a skilfull player. He also appears to have a mastery of the dark side of the English language - displayed when uttering a word I haven't even heard from Darren Caskey yet.

Using the popular vernacular of the day Justin Rowe is a 'big unit' and he was too much for Cradley's agricultural defenders whilst Aaron Cornwall showed enough to suggest he will be as much as sa handful for us as he was for Chippenham.

It got quite boring in the second half with all the triallists making for a pretty disjointed game (one of whom incidentally appeared to be called nothing more than 'Ice' - has he been sacked as a gladiator then?) until Ludovic Quistin availed himself of an acrobatic lunge and laid out one of their players (ruining the victim's shorts in the process). He was either sent off or asked to leave the pitch but it was about the only good bit of the half (apart from their 'keeper making a flying save from a Danks volley that belied his, shall we say, rotund figure.)

So not particularly thrilling then but who cares! We're up and running!

Added Wednesday 9 July

What a rubbish country this is. Not even a pre-season friendly in mid-summer is safe. Tonight's friendly against Willenhall is off due to what seems like several months of solid rain.

Added Tuesday 8 July

One more day to go...Tomorrow night sees the first pre-season friendly as Halesowen make the short trip to Noose Lane to take on Willenhall. Almost as interesting as who plays will be who isn't there as there are still question marks over the future of a number of last season's squad. Zema Abbey, Ikechi Anya, Alex Cowley, Rodney Hicks and Stuart Maynard were all in the squads that took part in the play-offs but there has been no news regarding any of them for this season. We will find out soon enough...

The soccerx website is suggesting that we have signed Tony Thorpe. The video coverage of training at Stratford certainly shows Thorpe doing his stuff, although his wikipedia entry states his career at Tamworth ended due to an eye injury that showed no sign of improvement. Either there has been some unexpected improvement or we are not as bothered as Tamworth over whether our players can see or not! Flippancy aside, Thorpe is an experienced ex-professional who adds depth to the squad although I'm not convinced he should be displacing either Dean Brennan or Eldon Maquemba up front. He was, I think, doing a bit of coaching at his last club, Barton Rovers, so maybe that will be a role for him at the Yeltz.

Added Saturday 5 July

Outgoing Yeltz chairman Nigel Pitt has spoken to the NonLeague Today paper about Morell Maison and his concerns over the financial future of the club. Visit my news page to read the full story.

More transfer activity - Mark Osborn, the 41st best 'keeper outside of the football league, has reportedly signed for Corby Town. Perhaps he was alerted by their status as favourites for the SLP next season. The Northants Evening Telegraph reports Corby manager, Graham Drury, as saying: "Mark was unhappy with what he felt was instability over his position at Halesowen and we were alerted to that. He called me up and we spoke about the possibility of him coming to us." He's definitely a loss but towards the end of last season he wasn't inspiring the same confidence in me as he did when he first arrived (mind you the memory of James Dormand's nightmare season was fresher then so virtually anybody would have inspired confidence). We'll know how big a loss it is after we've seen more of Nathan Vaughan.

News from the club indicates more transfer activity but only one definite name so far. We have signed Sean Ridgway, a 21 year old midfielder, who has played for Aldershot and Rushden & Diamonds as well as having loan periods at Stafford Rangers and Hayes. He has also played for the Republic of Ireland under 18s.

There is also an un-named right back signed from a top three Conference National side (Aldershot, Cambridge Utd and Torquay) and a similarly unknown centre-half from a Conference North side. Names may be named this weekend.

Most exciting news though is that Eldon Maquemba has spurned the monotony of Cyprus for the sparkling sunsets of Halesowen. Good lad.

Added Wednesday 2 July

All aboard for a Bright Golden Haze betting masterclass...A quick look at Coral's book for next season shows we are joint fourth favourites for the title at 8/1. Slightly generous I think and probably worth a few pounds. Corby are favourites at 11/2 which, to be honest, I find bizarre and appears to be based purely on the fact they reputedly have some money and have recruited three ex-King's Lynn players. I have a sneaky (and I feel ever so slightly unfaithful saying this) feeling about Brackley at 6/1 but if you want value look at Bedford. Rank outsiders at 50/1 after their dismal showing last season they will be much much better this time round and could be an each way possibility.

Added Tuesday 1 July

The season feels a tiny bit nearer now that the draw for the early rounds of the FA Cup and Trophy have been made. Unlike last year when we had the good fortune to have home games in both competitions this season there are two away games to look forward to. In the FA Cup we will travel to whichever side emerges triumphant from Goodrich or Meir KA v Rocester or Nuneaton Griff.

In the trophy there is the trickier proposition of either a reasonably long trip to Curzon Ashton or the very long trip to Durham City and their plastic, er sorry, synthetic pitch.

Added Tuesday 1 July

Nick Amos has definitely gone to Stafford Rangers. He posted on the Yeltz forum today to annouce his departure and to put straight the rumour that he had rejected an offer put forward by the club. Nick stated that he was unable to make it to the club on the date that he was invited to do so to discuss a deal and, following that, and no offer was forthcoming.

It's a shabby way for his career at Halesowen Town to end and he deserved better. I always felt we were a better side with him in it and I wish him well for his new career at Stafford.